Transformers: Dark of the Moon review

After having watched Transformers: Dark of the Moon in 3D, i feel obliged to write a review about the movie. Keep in mind, i watched both the prequels of this movie and it was not up to my expectations due to a certain female ‘actor’ playing the heroine. This review will be full of spoilers, if you are planning to watch this movie, it’s your money, but if you insist, please don’t be distraught by what you read here. Take it as a guide of what you may see.

Plot (7/10):

The plot is simple enough, an Autobots shuttle, carrying something that would ensure the Autobot’s victory, was shot down whilst escaping Cybertron, the robot’s home planet, and crash landed on the moon. The movie revolves around the shuttle’s sole survivor, Sentinel Prime, Optimus Prime’s predecessor and the secret weapon which is actually a teleporter and ofcourse, Sam Witwicky, the alien trouble magnet. The plot is actually not that bad, except for the part where Sam butts in every time the Decepticons decide to stir things up, granted, he knows the Autobots and have a really close relationships with them, that doesn’t mean he could be a dead weight to the Autobots. In fact, the plot is quite good, but it is tainted by useless scenes and bad acting.

 

Cast (7/10):

No more Megan Fox, hello random Victoria Secret model. While most of the former casts from the previous movies came back, they decided to drop Megan Fox and introduce Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Maybe Megan Fox can’t act because of all the synthetics in her body, maybe Micheal Bay prefer natural beauty or something, but Megan Fox dodged a bullet by not being in this stale movie premise. But why the above average score? Well, you can thank Alan Tudyk and Ken Jeong for providing the better parts of the movie, their comic reliefs, in my opinion, saved the whole movie from a CGI hell, too bad their parts are severely underplayed.

 

Plot Execution (2/10):

ugh.. it’s like Micheal Bay’s formula for this movie is Robots+Hot Girls = Instant hit. But let me tell you Mister Micheal Bay, Screenplay is not the reason why this movie is at the top of the box office right now, it’s because of the hype from the first movie. Micheal Bay stretched the boring parts of the movie and compressed the smart parts of the movie, at least that’s what i would like to think, other explanation includes, they were simply too lazy to write a smart screenplay and decided to visually and aurally rape you in the ears with bright colors and explosions every five seconds. The movie itself tries so hard to be smart, it looks idiotic.  Sure, the CGI looks nice, but they spammed it to the point of cliche and it ruins a good plot, oh and the Optimus’s must have monologue. The reason why the movie is 154min was because 85% of that is filled with pointless explosions and continuation errors. I didn’t even know Sentinel killed Ironhide when he reveals his defection until a friend of mine told me so.. because the scene jumped from Ironhide fighting a couple of Decepticons to Ironhide suddenly standing near Sentinel. and only 10min of the movie is worth watching, Ken Jeong’s smart antics, Alan Tudyk’s super butler act and Megatron’s greed fueled anger at the end of the movie. N0t to mention, Micheal Bay literally paused to movie several times so Sam can recite a Mercedes SLS AMG advertisement and Carly (Sam’s girlfriend) can step out of the Mercedes like an actual car advertisement, and also when the camera focuses on Cisco’s logo during tech related, or rather unrelated, scenes.

 

Physics (1/10):

This is where the movie made me rage, Sentinel wants to teleport Cybertron next to earth.. because them robots think humans have the workforce to rebuild their planet. Sentinel for a smart robot is quite stupid, due to gravity, teleporting a large planet next to another planet would attract both the planets together and eventually destroying both planets, Even if the two planets reach stability and can co-exist, earth atmosphere will be so thin because it is shared between the two planets, we will still die. And unless the teleporter is a one way device (unlikely), when Sentinel opens up the the gateway from the moon to Abraham Lincoln memorial, everything around the park should be sucked into the gateway due to vacuum effect. Maybe i’m wrong, because we are talking about Hollywood here, they made a lot of research to make their movie to sound plausible.

 

Satisfaction (6/10):

I came into the theater with little knowledge of the Transformer’s world and went out more confused. I felt like having a great sex with a hot girl only to wake up having foggy memories of the event. That doesn’t mean i wasn’t satisfied, i can relate the satisfaction to Alan Tudyk, Ken Jeong, Megatron’s treachery and 3D cinema. The 3D was top notch, it looked like the shattered glass was literally scratching my face, but damn it, i know Sam is the hero but his scenes are so long it feels like he’s a placeholder instead of the plot turner. It’s cliched and totally stretched beyond the feeling of a good movie, But the action scenes are enough to keep you awake throughout the movie.

 

Overall =  23/50 (Below Average)

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